TheNewMe

Physical: I do not have much to say. My surgery has been postponed due to my needing to have my sleep pattern right before surgery. I have to prove that I can wear my mask more than four hours per night before they will allow me to continue, so I now have three more weeks to accomplish that goal. I have proven I can do it, however if I continue waking up so early with leg cramps, etc. then I will be setting myself up for failure. In addition, I need to overcome my aversion to exercise. I am okay with any of it, however making it a habit is proving to be harder than I expected. Work: Work is going really good. I am getting more comfortable with my role as case manager. I have another review coming up in a month so I will continue my quest for perfection in my job. Mental: I am in a better mental state now. I am content and happy even in the place where we moved. I am making better choices and pushing myself to be a better person so it makes me feel more calm and collected. Spir...

I have not been good about blogging or journaling before, but I am going to give it another try. I can make myself create a new habit if I want to. I will be committed. I am feeling good today. I woke up WAY too early for a Saturday, but maybe that will give me time to just be. Happy Saturday! **** Well, I didn't want to do anything today, but I made myself get up and exercise and I feel so much better and ready to work! I have already gotten so much accomplished. Back to it! **** I took a nap after lunch and then got up and did 15 minutes of latin dance fitness. Feeling good, I think I will tackle another job!

Well, I have started a new journey. Life has changed in so many ways in the past 6 months. We moved to another state, Lee and I both took new jobs, we left our oldest to finish high school, just to name a few. I have been able to seek medical help with my asthma and sleep apnea, which have GREATLY improved life for me. I have also decided to proceed with gastric bypass surgery at the end of the summer. This is not a decision I took lightly and have prayed and thought a lot about it. It seems to me that the benefits far outweigh the risk. I have so many health concerns and this is by no means the easy way out. I thought that at one time, however I have been educated on the real deal for weight loss surgery. This is going to be a hard journey, but worth it in the long run. Baby steps. I will take MANY, but eventually I will come out on the other side walking proudly. My first goal is to lose 15 pounds before I go back to the nutritionist and fitness specialist at the end of this mo...

No. I refuse to believe that things can't change. I have often tried to change certain aspects of myself or my family with no regard to their own personalities or what God is choosing to do in their lives despite me. Well, no more! This is a new start, a new beginning, a new set of eyes are upon this new chapter. It is no longer about how clean or messy the house is or how much weight I have or have not lost; rather, it is what God is seeing when I react or am proactive to what is going on around me. How can I teach my children how to behave or how to truly follow God if I am not showing the same picture? How can I get mad at them judging me, when I judge them by the same standards? No more. No more guilt. No more frustration. No more judgment. Things ARE different. VERY different than they have ever been. A new set of circumstances is upon me. Everyone is waiting to see how I react. Will I over-dramatize like usual? Probably, it is after all in my nature. But that does not mean I ...

Well, the last time I was up here, things were much different. I am now back in my home state, heavier than I ever have been, and slowly approaching age 40 (next year). This is truly my last chance to do anything about myself. I have battled depression and major life changes in the past year. I now view things a little differently. I see this next year as what could be the biggest year of my life. (1) On September 3, 2011 I will turn 40 and I want several things to happen; (2) I am trying to amp up my prayer life; (3) I am hoping to graduate with a Bachelor's degree in August of 2011; (4) I NEED to lose 150 pounds before September 3, 2011 -- it is now or never! How will I ever get this much accomplished? Well, I intend to stop all volunteer work and much of the television watching so I can effectively complete my schoolwork in a timely manner. Also, I will attempt to push myself to keep a schedule and to make God my number ONE priority and exercise my number TWO priority. I figure ...

Well, I have lost 16 pounds so far. I had a really bad emotional week, but atleast I did not gain anything. Moving forward!!!

Well, I have lost 2 more pounds. I know this is healthy so I should be very happy. Why do I still beat myself up because I could have done more? I want it to come off faster than it came to me and it doesn't work that way. Baby steps-If I continue with 2 lbs a week until my goal, that will be 84 more pounds lost. This is not closer to my goal, well it is but not as far as I want to get in that time. I will still have another 50 pounds to go from there. I need to do more exercise I think. Maybe that would help.