Thursday, August 6, 2015

Please don't call my daughter's baby a "baby doll."

I think sometimes adults forget what it was like to be a kid. The imagination should be celebrated and encouraged instead of broken down. There is a difference between healthy imagination and delusional fantasy and we should be able to tell that difference in order to create a balance for our children. My daughter is heavily into baby dolls right now and she is always searching and shopping for more. I am not encouraging her to spend money mindlessly, rather entitling her to dream about the possibility of saving for what she wants. I was tempted to get upset with her because this particular baby she wanted was a lot to spend and she kept referring to her as "real." Several of us reminded her that it was "just a baby doll" and she needed to keep that in mind that if we would buy this for her that it was a birthday gift and it was not real. Since receiving it for her birthday, she has treated her like a real baby; she even buys real baby clothes and wanted a real bassinet for her. One day one of her brothers kept goading her about how it was just a thing and not a real baby. She only replied that Nya was real and kept playing. Another day I accidentally said doll and she ran off crying and I was left wondering what I did to make that happen. Then she came to me and explained, "Mom, please stop referring to Nya as a baby doll, to me she is real." I was crushed. I had hurt her by saying her baby was not real. So I have made an effort to respond to her conversations as if Nya were real because to Jamie, she is real. She is learning how to become a mother. She has told me numerous times that she wants to adopt children when she grows up. She wants to have her own business so she can stay at home with her children. Jamie is only 10 and I cringe at the thought of her growing up so fast, so I am encouraging her to dream of her future by playing mommy to Nya-her adopted baby. So if you see Jamie with Nya, please don't call her a baby doll - just ask her how her baby is today.