TheNewMe

 Well I haven’t really felt like myself this week. Depression has seemed to come back; not full-scale, but I guess this past Sunday I found out about a school friend that passed away that was my age and after that my mood kind of went down I’m not sure if that’s what happened but that’s the only thing I can figure that happened so I haven’t been on my new schedule of high and getting things done since then. I’m not sure how to really describe it other than to say that I have had no motivation this week at all and it kind of worries me because I was doing so good and now all the sudden I’m not and I’m not sure what to do about it. Today I have felt kind of headachy and I just don’t feel good and I snapped at somebody for no reason and I’ve gotten basically nothing done. I’m not sure how to get myself back to how I was last week but I will call my therapist tomorrow and see if I can figure out what I need to do right now I’m gonna go take some medicine and go to sleep I think even though

So I came across some goals that I wrote down at the beginning of 2020 and here is how I did: 1. More time with God.  - Rocking this one I think. I have definitely brought my perspective back to being more about Him and what He is about. I still have a long way to go but directionally getting there. 2. Jamie and Robin settled medically. - Well while we are still working on this one, I am definitely a lot closer to being in a better place. I was able to advocate for myself and was switched from a bad medication to a better one and have seen tremendous results for the better. Jamie is seeing help with therapy that is helping and medication is getting under control. She will always struggle but we are moving forward and that is what counts. 3. Have a family vacation. - Didn't happen due to COVID-19 but we were pretty much quarantined together so does that count?! 4. Plan an awesome anniversary trip. - I planned an awesome weekend but it got cancelled due to COVID so we went to Steve a

So I feel like I have begun a new life of sorts. Some may know and some may not, but I have been on a medical roller coaster for a long time now but for the sake of time I will keep it short with the past few years. I had seizures in 2018 and everything changed. My world was rocked and I lost my independence, my depression spiraled, my body pain increased, migraines progressed, and I struggled to keep up mentally. In that same year, my dad had a stroke and died and I had a full hysterectomy. WOW what a year. I had a wonderful support system but I didn't know how to ask for help or what to even ask for. My co-workers were extremely helpful in assisting me with navigating work and just listening. There were a couple of church friends who prayed for me diligently but most didn't fully know what was going on or the extent of the hardship my family was facing at the time. Our extended family was too far away to do anything but still talked to us as often as they could and prayed as

Nothing much to say today. I have gotten much accomplished today in the way of organization of my home but still have much more to do. I am too tired to get anymore done today so I am going to bed earlier than my normal. Seized the day and looking forward to tomorrow!                                                       Love,                                                            Robin

Okay so today I was productive and was able to make some purchases that will enable me to be a success at home. I was also able to reflect upon past and present mistakes that I have made and still think about making and it reminded me of several thoughts and moments so I thought I would take a minute to post it here. As children, we make mistakes and are chided and disciplined so that we learn from them so that we hopefully do not repeat those mistakes. It may take several times and some of us really never get it but we still are disciplined for it in some way or another. As adults, it is the same thing; whether it is knowing right from wrong or eating one piece of candy or the whole bag (you know who you are) we suffer consequences for those actions. In my health journey, it has been much the same way. One mistake after another hasn't always taught me to do the right thing and the consequences have been severe but that does not mean that it cannot be turned around even at this poi

Well today I did a lot of walking and then Bible study so now I am worn out. This will be a turn in early day. See y'all tomorrow!                  Love,                       Robin

Okay so today was a little different.  I pretty much stayed in my pajamas most of the day, however I still worked on my list. I began my day with a mild stretching workout and it made me feel really good. I continued down my list and then got tired so I took a nap while listening to calming music. I must point out that this was just a nap and not a keep lying in the bed and feeling sorry for myself kind of thing. I have been known to do that and I am making an honest effort not to do that and pushing myself to do more than I am capable of or that I think I am capable of at the moment. I got up and took a refreshing shower while listening to 70's dance music (YES it was rocking!). There were many greats and many I wanted to reference for today but I ended on one of my favorites that keep on motivating me from childhood until now. Earth, Wind, and Fire - "Shining Star" " You're a shining star     No matter who you are   Shining bright to see   What you could truly

We are overcoming today. So this is a little weird and I don't know if everyone is like this but I wake up really early and think I can conquer this day and have all this energy and then an hour later, I am over it already. Are you like that? I know that part of it has to do with my medical issues and the depression so I am doing my best to overcome. My husband told me to get right back out of bed so I did and put on makeup and had my son drive me to town to get me a coffee. So now I am trying and determined to tackle some housework. I am really good at making lists and then the lists get overlooked and thrown out. I made a list and gave myself permission to have a couple of days to get it done and I am comfortable and have a plan set out before me. I am working for the Lord who gives me strength. My song for today is Hillsong's "This is How We Overcome": Your light broke through my night Restored exceeding joy Your grace fell like the rain And made this desert live Y

Okay so I know it is a little late in the day to be posting but I have been really busy today and the computer has been occupied so I have been biding my time and awaiting the perfect moment to write but nonetheless I am here. Today has been a pretty awesome day. Let me start by saying that I have been on this amazing program called Optavia since October and it has made a big change in the way I feel, plus I have lost 42 pounds. I will be taking a break from it until I am restocked which will take about a week but I feel pretty good about that victory and I will post my sassy pants photo that I took in church this morning at the end of this post when I am done. I actually was able to cross my legs and that is no small thing. So I left early to go get breakfast for everyone else in the house and found a gospel channel and this song came on the radio that I had not heard before and the lyrics just spoke to me because I know them to be true and it made my heart sing. The song is by Tauren

Well here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever...wait a minute, I am not amidst Sammy Hagar this moment nor am I alone; but I am again posting so here I go again. So I got up out of bed this morning and put on full make up and clothes and curled my hair (btw...not worth the effort, but hey I tried something new that I used to like to do). I walked my dog and listened to music loud fully intending on walking outside very loudly to get some exercise in only to find that it was WAY to cold to stay out there for too long so I am back to writing. Baby steps. So I guess my one thing I am working towards this week on my list is doing my hair and makeup and dressing up to make myself feel better. I will let you know in a week if it made a difference. So far, I feel more motivated to action but not sure if I want to wake everyone up at the moment so I am weighing my options. Okay so I am going to tackle the positive affirmations from Pinterest. Let us see what I can find

I am not very good at blogging obviously. I try something new and then within a few weeks I put it down again only to leave it there for a few years until I think about it again. This time I am writing again because I have a lot to unload and my therapist thinks it may be a good idea to put my ideas down no matter how deep or shallow or simple they are. So here I am. I suppose I survived 202o by the skin of my ever breaking teeth. (no that is not a colloquialism for something else-my teeth are actually breaking) I wish I could say that things are quite alright with me but then I would be lying and I am not like that. I like to be transparent or so I like to say but then I am not totally open with everyone about where I am in the moment. So let me start with today and begin with that. I finally spoke to my therapist today and she recommended that I start doing things for myself like carving things out for myself since I am overwhelmed by everything. This is my effort. Most days I lay in