My New Life

So I feel like I have begun a new life of sorts. Some may know and some may not, but I have been on a medical roller coaster for a long time now but for the sake of time I will keep it short with the past few years. I had seizures in 2018 and everything changed. My world was rocked and I lost my independence, my depression spiraled, my body pain increased, migraines progressed, and I struggled to keep up mentally. In that same year, my dad had a stroke and died and I had a full hysterectomy. WOW what a year. I had a wonderful support system but I didn't know how to ask for help or what to even ask for. My co-workers were extremely helpful in assisting me with navigating work and just listening. There were a couple of church friends who prayed for me diligently but most didn't fully know what was going on or the extent of the hardship my family was facing at the time. Our extended family was too far away to do anything but still talked to us as often as they could and prayed as they could and were able. I was given a medication for my seizures and never asked questions about what it was or if it had any serious side effects. The thing is, when you have so many other things going on in your life, you don't stop to consider the small things and what they are contributing to your self and the whole picture. Fast forward to my life now back in NC. I am seeing a new neurologist and through in October 2020, I began taking a different approach to life and actually taking care of ME. It is hard at first because I am used to caring for others first because that is how I am gifted by God and what I have a love for. It's not that I don't love myself, but I believe we are to love others first. I started eating differently and devoting my time differently. Then I had a sort of "revelation" of sorts. I talked to my sister (who is a nurse) and we were talking about how I should not be in so much pain since I was on this new program. She started asking me questions about sleep life and daily life. Then questions came about medications and we started researching side effects of the medications I was on and there it was in black and white: Common side effects of said medication are - dizziness, moodiness, irritable, drowsiness, aggressiveness, loss of appetite, confusion, tiredness, weakness; You should not take it if you have mental illness, depression, or other mood problems. 

Ok so this was a wake up call for me and I wish I had looked at this sooner because the past few years wouldn't have been so bleak and unproductive. After my seizures, I remember being so tired that I had to take mini naps at work because I couldn't make it through the day. I couldn't do housework; I could barely do anything. I constantly had migraines.  I have a history of depression and have been on medication for it. All of the side effects describe what I have been experiencing and have all been discussed with my previous neurologist and nothing was ever changed. Now I am not going to rant over fault of doctor or drug company. I only mention it to say that it is very important for you to advocate for yourself and if you can't, then have someone who can advocate for you. I was not in a position that I could advocate for myself and I suffer memory loss so I often have to have someone else advocate for me. Thankfully, my sister and my new doctor were able to help me recognize what was going on and fix the problem. I have been off the other drug since Sunday of this week and there has been a remarkable change. My tiredness is gone, I have more energy than before. My sleep is getting better. I am making sound choices and hyper-organizing my house (side-note-I have NEVER done this before). Much love to my supporters, family, and friends. Much love to my new doctor. Do the right thing - Take care of yourself. 

                                        Love,

                                            Robin